Internet time has been scarce these past few weeks. As I enter the third trimester of my pregnancy I’m slowing down and sleeping more. Spare moments are spent doing what I can to prepare for the birth of our third child. Another son. I don’t have much to prepare for in regard to gathering things. I’m very much a minimalist when it comes to necessities for a new baby; clothes, cloth diapers, a carrier or two and a few odds and ends are all I need to feel prepared in that sense. Keeping up with the household chores, on the other hand, is proving to be more difficult as hormones begin kicking in that make my joints ache if I push myself too far. The best I can do right now is small tasks here and there each day. With a 7 year old, a 2 year old and a husband running around, I’m lucky to keep up with them all right now. With my nesting instinct kicking in my to-do list is forever growing.

Preparing mentally for labor and birth is something I have yet to make the time to do. It’s slowly creeping up in importance on my to-do list as I have only 9 weeks before I’ll be cleared for a home birth (37 weeks) and 12 weeks until I hit 40 weeks — which history shows I only gestate until about 39 weeks so I’m also mentally preparing for the possibility of yet another early birth. 12 weeks seems like a long time when the number is said out loud, but in reality it goes by so quickly. Especially as the Holidays near.
Labor with my first two children were quick, “textbook easy” and intense which makes me feel like it’s even more important for me to prepare mentally beforehand. When labor is quick, and we’re talking 45 minutes quick, there is no easing into it. It’s more like walking around with your head in the clouds when suddenly shit hits the fan and your world is rocked. Before you have a minute to think, take a breath or really realize and believe what’s happening, you’re holding a brand new baby.

While I have already given birth twice, I still enjoy sifting through birth stories on the internet, watching birth videos and sorting through my own feelings in regard to giving birth again. In doing this I feel as if I’m filling myself full of empowerment which in turn takes away any fears that may be holding me back.
One of the many reasons I do this for myself is the fact that the hormones secreted when scared or anxious do not go hand in hand with birth hormones and fear can actually inhibit a woman’s ability to give birth. That’s not to say that I don’t have fleeting moments while in labor where I’m anxious or scared, but preparing myself beforehand with positivity and empowerment helps in bringing me back to a place where I feel safe and comfortable with my ability.

 

Liam-ism (my 2 year old) of the day:
Rather than asking someone to move, for help moving something, or for help opening doors/drawers, etc, he has suddenly started saying “open portal” instead.
I’m still unsure of where he picked this up from, though I imagine it came from something Jonas (my 7 year old) has said to or around him.

 

Music I’m enjoying today: Bitter:Sweet :: A trip-hop duo with jazz like qualities

Recipe: Shepherd’s Pie

Shepherd’s Pie has easily become one of my all time favorite comfort foods, and with Autumn in the air I’ve been craving it like crazy. Imagine my delight when I walked into our local Whole Foods and saw that lamb was on sale! I stood patiently at the meat counter, picturing the the lives of the Icelandic sheep and lambs and the celebration that occurs during Harvest, dreaming of what it would be like to experience such deep rooted History where Farmer’s still respect the animals and the land as it should be respected. Iceland is on the top of my list of places I would love to visit and learn more about.

There are always a million recipes out there for the same dish, each with only a slight variation which clearly shows the palate of the author. With all of the Paleo [food] bloggers popping up all over the place (which is not the direction I’m intending, even if these first few entries here seem otherwise), the same is now becoming true of those recipes as well. I remember two years ago when searching for paleo recipes was much more difficult. So much has changed, and here I am adding yet another slight variation to a Paleo version of a beloved dish.

Ingredients: Mashed topping with roasted garlic

1 head of garlic, roasted
1/2 cup butter
1 head of cauliflower, steamed
2 medium sized sweet potato, cubed
salt and pepper to taste

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees
2. Roast garlic until soft
3. While garlic is roasting, boil sweet potatoes until soft
4. steam cauliflower until soft
5. In food processor, combine sweet potato, cauliflower, butter and roasted garlic until well combined, season with salt and pepper, set aside

Ingredients: Insides of the Pie

2 lbs of lamb
1 cup onion, diced
2 cups carrot, diced
2 cups celery, diced
1 cup frozen peas
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp parsley
1/2 tsp rosemary
1-2 TBSP tomato paste
1/2 cup red wine
1/2 – 1 cup bone broth (preferably homemade)
salt and pepper to taste

Optional additions that I include sometimes:
1/2 pound cooked bacon
1 cup cremini mushrooms, chopped into itty bitty pieces

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees
2. In a large soup pot, saute onion until translucent
3. Add carrot, celery and peas (and bacon, mushroom if using) and cook for about 10 minutes, until veggies become soft
4. Add lamb, paprika, parsley, rosemary, salt and pepper, cook until lamb is browned
5. Add broth, tomato paste, red wine – let liquid reduce by about 60%
6. Taste-test and adjust seasonings if needed
7. When liquid has reduced, put into 9×13 baking dish
8. Cover with sweet potato/cauliflower mash (I put this into a plastic bag, cut the corner off and pipe onto the topping to make the little peaks that brown. Spreading it on works just fine, too.)
9. Bake for about 30 minutes. If topping hasn’t browned to your liking, broil for a few minutes

To Pseudonym or Not…

I’m struggling with the decision to use a pseudonym or not. Presently, there isn’t a single person in my real life that knows of this blog. To be honest, I kind of like it that way. I like the feeling of being open and raw without having to answer to anyone, or to further explain entries that might crop up here to those I see regularly. Not having to worry about whispers or misunderstandings while I write to my hearts content seems something of a dream. It’s not that I’m afraid to be myself in real life. Quite the contrary. I’m often just as loud and opinionated in every aspect of my life, though I suppose it can be muted at times, too. Put simply, it’s the feeling of true freedom to be myself with no thought. It’s the introvert in me, the analyzer, that nurses these feelings. I find interactions with people exhausting, especially when it comes to explaining why my brain works the way it does or why I think a certain way. In other words, I just want to write and then leave it at that.

I realize how fucking stupid all of that sounds. Writing to strangers won’t save me from having to explain myself or stand up for decisions I’ve made. Essentially, I do have the ability to say “what I write here is not up for discussion” to those who might use what I write here to challenge me when that’s not the purpose behind my writing. Not to mention, the minute I start writing about anything remotely personal, which is inevitable (as I’m not a food blogger, even if I talk about it a lot), it will become very obvious who I am if a loved one did stumble upon this blog. I also don’t like pretending to be someone I’m not, even if it’s just a made up name. While one part of my brain is in love with the idea of keeping some anonymity, the other part of my brain thinks it’s one of the stupidest ideas I’ve come up with in awhile because I also love to share myself and my ideas and I am often saying “just be you and fuck everyone else”. There’s just no way I can see myself being able to keep up with maintaining the anonymity. I suppose I’m too lazy to do so and my mind does sneak off to dance with the idea of being able to share this blog with my loved ones some day as a place where they can see what we’re up to. Especially those we don’t see in person often enough.

I guess I just answered my own question, huh? One of the beautiful things about blogging and writing, spilling words and thoughts that are whirling in your head into something more cohesive where everything starts taking shape and making sense. It’s one of the reasons I always feel a strong pull to write, even if I don’t do it well.

Recipe: Chicken Sweet Potato Soup with Bacon and Chives

With Autumn just around the corner, I’ve been craving comfort foods. Especially rich creamy soups. I found a simple recipe for soup on Pinterest a few days ago, but to me the ingredient list sounded a little too bland for my tastes. I pinned it with the idea that I would need to make some adjustments to it. I’ve never been a fan of using plain water in any recipe when the homemade bone broth I make is so much more rich and tasty. Not to mention all of the vitamins, minerals and health benefits it has. I also wanted to make this a more complete meal by adding some protein to it. Here is the variation I came up with. 

Ingredients

1 large head of cauliflower, chopped into bite-size pieces (I forgot to measure, but I think it ended up being around 5 cups)
3 sweet potatoes, chopped into bite-size pieces (about 5 cups)
4 leeks, cut into round slices (about 2 cups)
6-8 garlic cloves, chopped
4 pounds chicken, cooked
12 cups bone stock (homemade, preferably)
olive oil
salt and pepper

Toppings

1 slice of bacon, cooked and chopped, per bowl (about 1.5-2 cups of soup)
chives, chopped

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees
2. Cut cauliflower into bite size pieces and place on baking sheet. Drizzle with olive oil, salt and pepper and bake in oven until tops are just starting to brown. (About 20-30 minutes.)
3. While cauliflower bakes, cut bacon into small chunks and fry on stove top until done. Set aside.
4. In soup pot, add sweet potato, leeks, garlic and stock, and bring to a boil. Once it starts to boil, turn heat down and allow to simmer until sweet potatoes are cooked through and soft.
5. When sweet potato is cooked through, add cauliflower.
6. Divide soup into two equal parts. Blend one part until smooth, adding it back into the the second part.
7. Add cooked chicken. Salt and Pepper to taste.
8. Place soup into serving bowls and garnish with bacon and chive.

Recipe adapted from here.

The Kitchen Klutz

Over the past several months I have become a little more experimental in the kitchen. I dream of the day I can walk through the weekly Farmer’s Market gathering my local weekly goodies without much thought, recipes and meal ideas flowing gently through my mind. Making up my own recipes and meals with ease is something I strive for, but do not yet have the experience to do so. When you grow up thinking that a nutritious meal comes from a package with the only requirement being to add water, you likely don’t come automatically equipped with the cooking background necessary to become a kitchen magician. I imagine I’m a little more like a drunken clown wobbling tirelessly on a unicycle while ingredients fly through the air.

Ok, so it’s not really THAT bad, so I’ve been told. Though I don’t often sway too far from my chosen recipe. I have come a long way over the past eight years since having children and no longer buy processed food, but I’m not yet the best at knowing which ingredients compliment each other off the top of my head. I’m trying. I’m learning. And the fact that you will be hard pressed to find any sort of processed, canned or boxed food item in my house says a lot about  how far I’ve come from childhood.

I have grown the most over the past two years. It’s amazing how quickly ones culinary skills grow when using only whole, fresh ingredients. I have my oldest son, Jonas, to thank to some degree due to his being diagnosed with food intolerances to just about everything beyond meat, fruit and vegetables. Not only does he have high intolerances to wheat, gluten, eggs and cow dairy, we found he’s also sensitive to soy and many other grains while overhauling our diet and trying to figure out what he can eat. I will save the rest of his story for another entry before I become completely derailed and jump off topic.

My confidence in the kitchen is growing. The more I try simple recipes and love them, the more I seem to be understanding flavor combinations. At least when it comes to savory foods. When it comes to baking, I am quite the klutz. I do feel as though I would have better luck in my kitchen experiments if I were using eggs and if I had a better understanding of what each ingredient in a baked goods recipe does for the final product. You know, the science of it all. I have some reading and learning to do in that regard. While we don’t eat baked goods and treats often, I do have the goal of perfecting them while keeping them egg free so that Jonas can enjoy them.

Today was my first real experiment with making pancakes without following a recipe. Pumpkin pancakes to be exact. The batter was delicious, but they did not fry up and set well. I have a few ideas of  what I can try for future batches, but it may be awhile before I attempt them again. We’ll see.
On the other hand, I have an excellent soup recipe I came up with that I’m excited to share. I will be posting that soon!

The Cool Crisp Mornings of Autumn

The cool crisp mornings of Autumn are my favorite. Actually, the entire day during Autumn is my favorite, but there is something a little extra special about the crisp clear mornings. While we technically have two and a half weeks left of Summer, the weather here is already very much Autumn-like in the mornings and I can’t help but feel wrapped up in this Season already. The colors of plants turning, the comfort food shared with loved ones, the pumpkin flavored treats, the cozy cheerful people I pass in the street — I just can’t get enough and soak up every drop that I can before we head into Winter.

There is something about this time of year that touches deep inside of my soul. I’m beginning to feel introspective, calm, full of love and creative. I often burst at the seams with ideas and projects that I want to complete and my to-do list slowly grows. Despite the fact that the weather cools, I feel warm, as if wrapped in a thick wool sweater, sipping on my hot pumpkin spiced beverage while reading in the sun, with love and happiness glowing from every inch of my being and pouring out to touch those I come into contact with. It’s this mental image I’ve had for so many years, the image that starts appearing in my mind when I can feel the weather turning, an imagine I love.

I’ve never quite understood where these feelings come from or why they only seem to crop up during this time of year, but I always welcome them. Often I feel as if I’m emerging, renewed and regenerated during Autumn, and other times I feel as if my renewal is just beginning. Most often I picture these two opposites as being right next to each other in a circle as I ebb and flow through both. Autumn is a magical time of year for me where I feel my personal growth and journey flourish. I find it interesting that while I feel as if I’m blooming and coming into myself again, the world around me is de-robing to prepare for the harsh, bitter cold.

With this feeling of renewal I’m here starting a new blog. I’ve blogged off and on for the past 12 years, online and offline, but I want some place new and unmarked. I’m not quite sure yet what direction this blog will take, though one thing I know for sure is food will likely be a subject touched upon often. With two children who have food intolerance’s, food is a daily interest in our home as we navigate our way through a world that often doesn’t understand what it means to be intolerant of food that so many seem to enjoy without thought. I will often post recipes and reviews of recipes that already exist. Stories of the growing pains and joys of raising children and living a different lifestyle than the majority of our loved ones will likely pop up from time to time. Most of all, I hope to  share my personal experiences with all things in life that are of interest to myself and my family and that these stories, anecdotes, feelings and thoughts are able to touch at least one person.